Screw You Madonna!

I can not express how much I hate Madonna.  How could you not just want to head butt a face like this?

One of the reasons I hate her is how she thinks she is far superior to anyone else on this planet.  I just love how condescending she was when Lady Gaga said that Madonna was an inspiration to her music and instead of being thankful and humble she said that Lady Gaga's song Born This Way was "interesting."  She was pissed that Gaga's song sounded like one of hers.  I find it funny that she is mad over someone having a similar song as hers since she made a career of ripping off Marilyn Monroe.  She should be thankful that Gaga kept her relevant for 5 minutes longer.

I also hate her fake English accent.  Madonna you are not some refined Englishman, you are a skank from Detroit who got famous by acting like a whore.  Plus she looks so gross with her botoxed face and her vainy man arms.  Yuck.

I also don't know how she won a golden globe recently.  I have no idea what she won it for and was not about to spend the energy to look it up.  We can only hope that her new project is as high quality as her smash hit movie Swept Away was.  No matter how good the project is that she was nominated for I would have to believe that Elton John is a far superior artist.  Elton John could create a song using nothing but fart sounds and a kazoo and it would be better than anything Madonna has put out in the last 20 years.

Warrior Dash Training

So my husband and I signed up to do the Warrior Dash.  We are doing it with my brother, his wife, and a bunch of our friends.  If your not familiar with Warrior Dash here is a little taste of it:

Now when I watched this video I thought to myself now here is a race for me.  I can do the race and hydrate myself with beer after, that's right up my alley.  I think I overlooked a very important part of the day prior to signing up for this-the race itself.  I realize I am not fit.  Especially when my brother tells me often, how out of shape I am.  He is a real exercise nut.  He does P90x with a weighted vest on.  Now that is to hardcore for me.  My exercising over the last 8 months has consisted of doing leg lifts and by leg lifts I mean lifting my legs onto the coffee table while I watch crappy reality t.v.  I do work full time and go to school full time so I am not a total slug but exercise definitely isn't my favorite thing to do.  So I have downloaded two apps to help me get into shape, my fitness pal and couch to 5k.  I love both of these but I can not express how much I hate running.  When I run I feel like I am going to die each time.  A friend of mine loves to run and she talks about the "runners high," and her "second wind."  I believe both of these things are total bullshit.  Running feels to me more like what I imagine an overdose feels like, my heart about to explode and my lungs burning.  Also my shins always feel like they are going to snap.  This is probably because of my body type, which can best be described as a potato on a stick.  I have skinny muscular legs then a round body.  I am not huge by any means but I have a solid 20lbs to lose all from my mid section and I blame this on having kids.  I am hoping my workout gets easier with time because I want to get in shape and finish Warrior Dash to shove it in my brothers face.

So I guess I'm going to hell

Part of my job is to work at a site one day a week where I am by far the youngest one there.  Everyone else at the site is over 70 years old.  They are very religious and avid Fox News watchers.  Both of which I have totally opposite views on. 

There we were sitting and reading the newspaper when we stumbled upon an article about occupy wall street.  After some discussion one of the volunteers goes on a rant about the government.  It turns into her complaining about how the government does not allow religion in schools.  I reminded her that people are free to send their kids to religious affiliated schools but due to not everyone being the same religion there can't be religion taught in public schools.  She argued that America is a Christian country.  I reminded her that in fact there are two clauses in the constitution that not only give people the freedom to follow whatever religion they want but also that America will not be affiliated with one religion.  As you may assume this did not go over well.  She then came right out and asked me if Jesus Christ is my savior!  Are you kidding me?  Who asks a question like that?  So naturally I told her no.  I told her that while I am very interested in religion that I do not believe in any of the organized religions.  She was stunned.  She looked at me like I just kicked a puppy.  That is when she proceeded to tell me that she felt sorry for me because I am going to hell.  She stated that there were only two places someone could go either heaven or hell, and if someone doesn't believe that Jesus Christ is their savior then they cannot go to heaven.  So hell it was for me I guess.  I reminded her that those are her beliefs and I am quite comfortable with my afterlife placement.